chickensteak.

don't worry about what subject you're talking about. i mean, i made this blog so that we could vent out what we really feel, what we really think about, and to just connect with each other. this isn't so much about the fast, but more about our relationships with each other and with Christ.

but anyyyway.

i don't want to say that i know what you're going through. because honestly lyndsey, it's not fair for me to say something like that. we both have such different lives and different families. i can't say that i know everything about you and that i've been there, because there is no one that will understand you like Christ does. but here is what i can say...

i am here for you. do you remember pastor warren's last night of youthfire? about how sometimes, he doesn't even know what to say. people tell him their problems and their hurt, and he doesn't know what to say sometimes, so he just embraces them and lets them know there is a God who feels their pain. so for me, i don't know exactly what to say, but i can let you know that you have a friend here, well...a sister (meeeee =P) and there are those deep and dark places in our hearts that only God can go.

but only if you knew. if only you knew the impact that you do have on people. but to me, that's what is so beautiful about you, is the fact that you don't really realize that the person you are and the way you are reaches out to others in the simplest of ways. because if it's one thing you've taught me, it's to not let life pass you by. i was always so apathetic towards everything, and never really cared about what was set in front of me. but the thing is that you always find ways to look at the smallest things that can mean the world to someone. i've always envied that you have that gift.

it's hard living under your parent's roof when you want to do so many things. and sometimes we don't always agree with our parents, and i know i definitely had difficult times with my mom. there were times i lashed out and yelled at her at the top of my lungs because i couldn't stand the way she was. but at the time i understood that she is my mother, and i am my mother's daughter. the bible says to honor your father and mother. and as long as i was under her roof, it was her rules. and now i find myself regretting the way i was with her. i know she was a parent looking out for her child. it hit me so hard after i moved out that i wasn't going to be living with her anymore. and no matter how many arguments we had, the bad times should never and will never outweigh the good times.

so all i can say is hold on for the meantime. if you keep focusing on what you don't have, you're going to miss out on the things that you do have. the Lord says "for I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." you are destined for greatness. i know there are lots of things that we want to do, but those things come by God's timing, not our own. and we think that we're so young and we can't do anything important until we get older, but that's not true. we think that simply talking to a lonely person at school or hugging a friend is such a small thing compared to feeding the hungry or building a home for the lost. but that's not the way it is in God's eyes. God sees and rewards even the smallest gestures that we passionately make for Him.

there are so many things that i want to do to reach out to the people who are lost in this world, like go on a mission trip, but now is not my time. but that doesn't mean that i'm not living. God is simply telling me to wait on Him. and it's just like a young girl who exercises to get skinnier. this doesn't mean that in the meantime, her beauty is put "on hold." she is beautiful no matter what because she is the daughter of a King! and it is the same as when we have a passion to give to others. sure, we don't have the opportunity to go on a missionary trip to the deep jungles of the Amazon, but that doesn't mean we can't enjoy today.

we will all pass away someday. and that is why we live for today. we can't live for yesterday, because it's gone. we can't live for tomorrow, because it's not promised. this is why every single day in the mornings, i wake up, and thank Christ because He's given me one more day.

just take a look around you and look at what God has created. put passion into your actions. and pour out your heart in the words you say. and take everything in around you. we shouldn't work to be blessed; we should work because we are already blessed. you can't keep on thinking that you can only work toward what will be, because what if that day never comes? you have to realize that we are only living because Christ died for us.

"Come into God's presence with no agenda but to love God and let Him love you. Your identity is not found in your doing, but in your being with God. It is not about feeling; it is about coming to God in faith."

people think that just because you're a Christian, life is easy. but the thing is that its that much harder. it takes more strength for someone to be different. God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

- ness