a mystery.

God.

in those three letters lies the mystery, the unfailing promise, the reason that i breathe.

and i think that's the best part of it: the fact that we're human and we don't know everything. there are people in this life who miss out on everything ... who are so concerned with knowing all the facts. and sure, it's logical, but i think other people can get really pissed off when they don't know something. it's pride, it's arrogance, it's selfishness.

i think that's why a lot of people can't accept the idea of God. they can't accept His Grace either. Why in the world would He send His son to die for us? I've heard many times, of how people think it's stupid, that He simply could have just forgiven us for our sins in two seconds if He wanted to, right? Of course He could have.

But He didn't. Do you understand the living God? That He is the God that has the mind to come down to this earth and walk among us, to suffer every trial and tribulation. I think that takes an extreme, an incredible, an indescribable, unfathomable amount of humility. That marks the genuine heart of love.

It's weird. I think about how He created this world. All of this. Everything around us, He knew what He was doing and He knew what was going to happen. He exists outside of time. He knew our hearts before He formed them. He set us all in certain places at certain times. and i wonder why He created us if He knew that sin was going to come into the world.

this sounds extremely crazy, but think about it. everything ... it all led up to the ultimate act of love.

why do i love God? because He first loved me.

there's something about love. i mean ... even with God. you see, we could argue all day. or you can read up on all the religious and philosophical books you want. you can go to church as much as you want, listening and learning and writing it down in a notebook. you can say you love God. you can even claim to be "Christian" and not cuss or have sex before marriage. you can be the most religious person in the entire world! but that's not it ... that's nowhere near what it is.

it's not just believing in Jesus and going to heaven. it's not just saying "i'm a christian!" this life is about falling in love with Christ.

you see ... being a christian ... is more than just the title. it's not a religion. i can honestly say that. even Jesus didn't agree with the most religious leaders. Jesus tore the veil.

there's something that goes beyond the facts. it goes beyond just knowing what Jesus did and religious doctrines. nothing can describe the true experience of God's love. nothing.

religion works from the outside in. but God changes you from the inside out. religion is a list of do's and dont's. Christianity is spelt "done!" religion is just knowing about Jesus. but christianity is knowing Jesus. there is something incredible, something unspeakable when I sit in His presence. and that's the thing, that i can't explain it. that's what i love. and i can't put it in a box and wrap a red ribbon around it. and i never will ... we can't wrap our minds around a God that is so big. the more that i try to define it, the more that i degrade it.

why is there suffering from a loving God? i could say so much about this. but i'll sum it up for you. sin is present in this world and that's the reality of it. and it's difficult seeing murderers or cheaters or liars that get away with things. we want justice. why do these evil men and women live? think about it. should God kill them before they do evil deeds? should he judge rapists and thieves now? i think we easily miss the point if we think He's hateful. we serve a God that is loving enough and patient enough to wait for these people to make a choice, as He does not want anyone to perish.

there's a good reason for trials in our lives. there is evil that has brought suffering, but i always think there's something good brought out from it under God's direction. and we wonder if the juice is worth the squeeze. if our consequences are worth our actions. but of course, only God can judge that since our perspective is so limited. but for me, i honestly believe that after every "bad" thing that has happened in my life, it has changed me so much more for the better. and what i mean is that i've grown. the best part is that i haven't just grown up - i've grown closer to Christ. nothing in this world will ever beat that.

look at the story of Job. my friend was arguing with me about it, saying how God is just a manipulative being that plays around with our lives as if we are insignificant. Job may have been the most faithful servant, but he was not without sin. The point is that God wasn't simply just proving a point to Satan. It's more than a "bet." When God asks a question, He already knows the answer. He knew of Satan's activities and what was going to happen. We need to understand that God had purposes for Job's good that could only come through that arduous path of testing. Suffering can be a sacred trust that brings you to full dependence on God.

the funny thing is, i'm not so scared anymore. instead of fearing what's to come, we should welcome trials, hardships, difficult situations. sounds crazy, right? well i'll let you know, that i am crazy in love.

at this very moment in time, today, i can honestly say i've never trusted God this much. there's so much that i could say ... but the main point is that we are destined to reign, to enjoy life, to live for God. everyday is a constant struggle that i can't get enough of. because i understand. i understand He has a purpose for everything! every single little and big thing! no matter what happens, it turns out to be better than before!

i can remember how angry i was with my mom. i could almost say that i even hated her ... but someone told me that He would not have made her my mother if there wasn't a reason for it. even if i don't agree with her, she's still my mother. and with the way she is and the things she does... if she wasn't like that, I wouldn't have been the person I am today. when he said that to me... it was so eye-opening. and then he said that He didn't make her your mother to annoy you or harm you, but possibly to make you stronger for what lies ahead.

even in the midst of suffering, i have an unbroken peace. it's so hard to comprehend, let alone explain. but mystery is one way that God moves. it's understanding without fully knowing. it is riches when you don't have. it is strength when we are weak.

the key is to be tough, not hard. tragedy wants to harden us, and we should never let it. and i understand we all go through difficult times. they're all different and i can't judge to say who suffers more than who; but God really never does give you more than you can handle. all you have to do is ask the Savior for help, and lift it up to Him. easier said than done. but it's incredible. out of the 6 billion plus people that live on this planet, God loves you as if you were the only one.

when you seem like you can't move on, that you can't ever climb out of that pit, remember ...

for the believer, this life is as close to hell as you will ever get. for the nonbeliever, this is life is as close to heaven as they will ever get.

i understand that it is hard to remember there are other people in the world. but it's time for us to quit acting like children, and take a step back to look at the big picture. we all walk different paths, and how amazing is it that we have all met, even if just for a moment, and that we have the time to walk this path together. we have a higher purpose. i sincerely believe that us girls (here on breakfr33) have the hearts that we do for a reason. no matter what we go through, God has given us the strength to rise above it all!

=== i praise You, Father. not only because of the things that You've given me, or the people you have placed in my life. I praise You, adore You, simply for who You are. ===

- ness.